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[personal profile] french_silk
I don't want to lose a friendship.

This entire weekend my stomach's been in knots. I feel like Mel is mad at me, but what was I supposed to do? Ange is a stubborn woman, and even if I had talked to her about leaving the house, what could I have done if she said no? Threw down? Pushed her out into the street?

Uh, no.

One, because I honestly would probably never assault someone unless it was in defense of myself. And two, because Ange is honestly one of my best friends at TCNJ. So, this is what happened:

"Ange, Brianna doesn't want you in the house.. You guys don't get along, so its probably for the best if you pull out."

To me: "But my other close friends have their deposits in already.. Why should I back out just because one person doesn't want me here? Can't we all just live together? If you guys didn't want me to live with you, why the fuck did you invite me in the first place?"

"Ange, its not that I don't want to live with you, its Brianna, who already has her deposit in, which you haven't given."

"Well, I planned to hand it in tonight."

...

IDEK. Fuck. Since this, since Ange handed in a deposit, Mel & Brianna "are definitely living on campus" blah blah blah. WTF. I hate this, and honestly? Sometimes I hate the gdamn drama that always, some way or other, ends up surrounding me. UGH. I haven't talked to Mel all weekend, since the whole housing drama on Friday, and she texted me tonight asking to get lunch with me tomorrow before our 1230 class.

Of course I said sure. What am I supposed to say? I don't want to lose her as a friend when I did pretty much all I could do to "not" get Ange to stay in the house. So in theory I shouldn't (like my mom said), but I'm still worried. I was bawling on Friday after we went out because I hate thinking/knowing someone's mad at me. It just blows. Just... I hate it. I hate this so. fucking. much.

I'm just gonna be honest at lunch tomorrow. I mean, that's honestly all I can do. And we'll see what happens.

womp womp. What a lame sauce entry, huh? Especially considering I haven't written anything for like six months. Whatevs. Love ya Dreamwidth.

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